I can't drink WHAT?

Oh sweet burning nectar of the gods, why hast thou forsaken me?

People, I’ve got a problem.  I’m about to tell you what it is, but I need you to prepare yourself…it’s rather upsetting.

There is a running theory, backed by some moderately strong-leveled evidence that I may be allergic to, of all things, coffee.

Any Buddhists out there?  Perhaps you can tell me what I did in a past life to be dealt this stinging karmic blow?  Was I cruel to coffee farmers?  Was I a thief of all things caffeinated?  Was I Hitler?

It would seem that in this unfortunate turn of events, my body has decided to revolt in the form of reverting back to the painful teenage years of embarrassing breakouts of pimply unpleasantness.  With extensive efforts to figure out why this was happening, it was determined that coffee/caffeine might be the offending culprit.

It just so happens that my first race of the season is 4 weeks from this Sunday at which time I usually try to get off the juice to decrease my tolerance for the magical drug.  That way when I down a Red Bull during the race, I literally grow wings.

So that’s where I’m at.  Today was the last “cup” of coffee, but as you can see from the picture above, that was hardly worth calling a cup.  This coming from the guy who used to down 2-3 venti monsters daily just to get by.

Anyone heard of this?  Coffee allergy?  Where are my naturopaths out there???

Deep thought Tuesday: the impossible dream

To dream the impossible dream...  No, this is not a review of musical theatre, but where I am today as an aspiring triathlete rock star.

A few years ago, I firmly believed that to finish an Ironman was pretty much humanly impossible. Asking my body to do this was akin to gluing impressive amounts of feathers to my arms and flapping my arms fast enough to fly. And while I did repeatedly try, I can't tell you how much it hurt my body, not to mention my pride, when I came crashing back to earth from the heights of my childhood garage. It's just not meant to be done.

Same with Ironman. Running a marathon is freakin hard enough. How could I do that after this epic swim and bike?

And yet, I've done it thrice.

I artistically used the word thrice there. It made me feel fancy. Athletic and grammatically competent?  There are so few of us...

Point is: I am pretty addicted to attempting things that seem impossible. Within reason, of course. And while my attempted flying days are long finished, the feeling I get when I am finally able to achieve that previously decided impossible goal is just about the best feeling ever.

"Chad Woodward, you are an Ironman!"  Sure he said my name wrong, but I wasn't hatin'. That was the most incredible sentence I had ever heard, perhaps seconded only by "balding men with beards are totally sexy," but I didn't log on to tell you about that...

What I did log in to say was that it is time for another goal. Nothing ventured, no chance for public embarrassment, right?

This past weekend, as many of us know, was the World Championship Ironman in Kona, Hawaii. Our Super Bowl. Qualifying for this race is damn near impossible. Uh oh. There's that "impossible" word again!

Naturally, I'm obsessed.

And so that, dear reader, is my goal. It's crazy, bordering pathological thinking, but it's where I'm at. It sounds impossible for me to pull in a time fast enough to qualify in my age group. For those of us paying attention, it would be a sub-10 hour Ironman. My current record is 11:59. I've got some work to do!

And yet, that is what this deep thought is all about: set a goal for yourself that sounds absurd. Challenge yourself. Aim high. The only thing in your way is probably you. Nothing more true than that statement in my own goal setting.

If I get out of my own way, I can accomplish anything imagined.

And so, I am doing that. Getting out of my way.

I'm also trying to stop talking to myself. I never enjoy the conversation and it draws attention. I won't be that guy anymore.

So, loyal readers, what goal can you set for yourself?  What sounds impossible?  What can you surprise yourself with?

Write it down here. Leave a comment. Tell me what you are going to challenge yourself with. If to no one else, be accountable to me!